Thought of the Day

So Saturday night I was talking to one of my friends who is also a Religious (technically Catholic) studies major. She's transferring to another school and I asked why. Basically its because the program here for Catholic Studies isn't … very mainline? I'm not sure what exactly she was getting at. But the thing is, “she likes being Catholic.” And, like, she said it in an annoyed “please be quiet Isaac,” way, but I was like... wait... you mean there are people that really really like their denomination? Probably a good shock for me.

See, my grandfather on my mom's side left the Catholic Church. My parents joined a non-denominational organization, I've been surrounded by people with slightly different theological views and my question has always been “what does the Bible say?” I mean like, I'm not sure to learn doctrine, I'm hear to figure out what I believe. One of the things this person mentioned was the word “career” and, actually, that's not a bad point, I realized in hindsight. But the thing is... I'm not concerned about my career? Maybe this is a bad thing, but I know people that ran off to South Asia with little education and just faith that they were there because God told them to go. Doctrines, Creeds, Denominations, they are really meaningless to me. I respect the Catholic Church for what it has done, I also do not think I will ever be able to join the Catholic Church. I might go in for mass every so-often, because... I mean, why not? But that's it.

Anyways, its just funny how people are loyal to a particular creed or denomination. I have nothing against that, but I've been taught to find my own faith, grounded in the Bible, of course, but my own faith. And furthermore, I don't like being in a position where someone says “Didn't the Pope/Religious Leader say...” and me having to defend that belief when I might not agree with it. Judge me based on my own actions and my own beliefs, not on the actions or beliefs of others. Sure, if its my pastor, or a spiritual father of mine, question me, however, that is a different dynamic. Why? Because those people, I know them, personally. Like, I know my Pastor back home as well as I possibly could. I know my grandparents, I know my parents, I know my current mentor, and if you question me on their beliefs or actions, that's different. Even if I was Catholic, and by some miracle, I managed to meet the Pope, I don't think I'd ever “know” the Pope. I'd never have that dynamic relationship that is so amazing and personal.

Last night I called the guy who I currently would probably end up calling my pastor or spiritual mentor, even though he's thousands of miles away and we don't talk that often. He told me that I should be “honing” my faith, not just learning new information. And that's something I want to be doing. Right now, I'm finding that I need to ask a lot of questions about my beliefs and different issues that I never had in Bangladesh just because of how things worked. Its been good and its been encouraging. To link that back to what I've been saying,that's what I want to keep as my goal these next three years. I want to remember that I need to hone my faith, not just get new information, but understand how that information will help me be the best servant of Christ I can possibly be.

So that's what I'm working towards right now, making sure that I'm learning what I'm supposed to be doing. I think this summer should hopefully be a good time for me to reflect on what I've done this semester and last and see where I went wrong and where I went right. There is that fine line of being in the world but not being off the world, and I need to walk it... its harder than I thought it would be, so we'll see how things go.